Coalition – The Movie

Last Sunday’s Observer included intriguing news that a TV drama adaptation is to be made of Andrew Adonis’s book 5 Days in May, about the failed 2010 coalition negotiations between Labour and the Liberal Democrats.

“The hunt is on for stars to play party leaders,” says the report’s standfirst.

Well, casting this drama is fun for all the family. Here are my humble suggestions:

• Gordon Brown – David Morrissey (who captured Brown so well in The Deal)
• Ed Balls – Peter Kay (who would bring the right sort of rotund jollity to the part)
• Alastair Campbell – Peter Capaldi (everyone thinks that Malcolm Tucker is Campbell, so why not?)
• Peter Mandelson – Christopher Lee (but only because Peter Cushing is dead)
• Andrew Adonis – Michael McIntyre (looks nothing like Adonis, but can you think of anyone more irritating?)

• Nick Clegg – Colin Firth (to be cast as punishment for deserting the Liberal Democrats as soon as the going got tough)
• Paddy Ashdown – Rory Bremner (a dead ringer)
• Chris Huhne – Leslie Phillips (who has made a career of playing ageing Lotharios)
• David Laws – Chris Packham (a TV nature programme presenter and not an actor, admittedly, but the resemblance is uncanny)
• Andrew Stunell – John Le Mesurier (do you think that’s wise?)

(That’s enough cast members – Ed.)